The Façade of Balance
by Tamra Andress
Bikes on the beach. Image courtesy of Carolyn Christine on Unsplash.
We basked and played in the sun on a surprise post-shadow revealing Groundhog Day. The summer toys emerged from the garage, and I found myself braving the pavement alongside my barely five-year-old daughter as she emulated her big brother’s bike riding abilities. She hadn’t at this point even used training wheels, but here she was teeter-tottering between risk vs. reward, without a helmet or knee pads. Don’t mom-shame me here – I was literally running alongside with her shirt gripped in my hand in preparation for any fall.
I coached all the balance tricks. “Keep your head up; don’t look down. Slow and steady wins the race. Follow the middle line. Nice and easy. Balance is key.” The mantras sink in, or so we believe, and before long she’s coasting, pulling out her own ‘feet-off-the-wheels’ tricks and finding confidence with each next attempt. The occasional falls are imminent, but the freedom of the coast keeps her trying again.
Isn’t our adult adventure with balance the same? Always attempting to find that magic point of wind in the hair, eyes closed, sun on your skin, hands off the handlebars, downhill freedom ride.
When is the last time you felt that release?
I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s few and far between. Perhaps more of a momentary experience rather than a season. Most days, balance is a struggle. And I think it’s because we are taught that it exists in the first place, when in fact, it’s less about the finality of stability and more about the process of developing the muscle of alignment.
Balance is defined as both “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady” and “a condition in which different elements are equal and in correct proportions.” Even the most meticulous or agile eventually have to stop pedaling.
Could balance be a façade?
Balance. Image courtesy of Gustavo Torres on Unsplash.
Proverbs 11:1 says,
A false balance is an abomination to the Lord…
Daily, conversations around balance are swarming in our culture. Buzz words that are taking root in all areas of input, church all the way to juxtaposing consumerism. A balanced mind attained through meditation, prayer, mindfulness practices, daily journaling, self-reflection. A balanced body developed through exercise, nutritional intake, energy output, or sleep cycles—a balanced soul designed through spiritual practices, harmony, breathing techniques, energy healing, or chakras. We even pursue work-life balance, but it actually drives us mad since it never feels like a perfect equation exists.
Do you know anyone who lives their life in coast mode?
I challenge us as a society to believe that it doesn’t. I question culture in this way because I haven’t ever seen it emulated consistently well.
To take the juxtaposed position, even if it does exist, what is its true sustainability? With a potential tweak in either direction causing a riff of instability, we keep pursuing misaligned. Would it then be an endless pursuit towards an impossible feat? Are balance and perfectionism synonymous?
God’s purpose for our life includes harmony, but I don’t find evidence that it includes balance.
The completing sentence in Proverbs 11:1 says,
…but a just weight is his delight.
What if all the pursuits of worldly balance are actually enemy intentions to derail us from our purpose?
What if purpose is the alignment point, not the balance point?
When you identify and walk, or for this analogy ride, in your purpose, you know that this is no easy feat. There are forces that come against you. The road continually feels uphill. The ‘coasting’ phenomenon doesn’t occur effortlessly, but the variable of joy, freedom, and connectivity to the purpose Giver positions us in a place of load-bearing ability. We can now pull the trailer behind the bike. The weight is not too much. The burden is light.
To experience the “coasting point,” I believe passion and purpose exploration are the Biblical intentions of our journey. But we keep getting stuck by cultural pursuits of balance- pursuits of success, richness, fame, beauty, figure, some in vain and some even with a pure heart. I don’t think the end goal of these fleshly desires is cultivated from an evil perspective, but I think once the world grasps hold of our child-like desires, the shift derails us from our heavenly intended places.
You see it all the time. The child who can take center stage with ease, captivating an audience with their voice and moves, is altered into an egotistical fame-hungry media mogul; when God planned for them to be a worship pastor. The child who reads and writes before their peers embracing imagination and creativity is altered into a sex novelist turned box-office soft-porn screenwriter; when God intended for them to be a storyteller of His miracles and wonders alive in the world today.
Heartbreakingly, these journey rides often end in isolation, depression, anxiety, overwhelm, and sickness. The inhibiting factors between fickle balance and purposed alignment are our starvation points of health and freedom. We are stuck in the battle of good vs. evil, riding uphill against shame, guilt, lies, greed, gluttony, and pride; most generational curses. It’s how we were taught to ride the bike, unintentionally, without recognition of the future harm it would cause.
The critical release of these inhibiting factors will be the adjustment point for individuals to own the passions within them in a new intentional centered way. There is an alignment point that allows us to exchange our horizontal understanding of balance and well-being to our vertical understanding of purpose and wholeness. In this discovery process of laying down these inhibiting factors that keep us frozen in the analysis paralysis of our freedom, we will discover and experience the awakening point of our souls, the coastline of our life’s ride.
Shame for identity.
Guilt for forgiveness.
Lies for the Truth.
Greed for wealth and heavenly richness.
Gluttony for wholeness in our health.
Pride for Kingdom community.
1 John 2:15-17 says:
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and eyes, pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
Instead of pursuing balance with our minds, bodies, and souls individually, it should be a connected experience of the heart with emphasis on vertical alignment rather than segmented success.
Balance is more about being centered and less about being in a state of equilibrium. This is true in our personal lives just as much as it is in our professional life. Our purpose is embedded in every area of our well-being. We have to forget the road rules of the world and embrace God’s promise and will for our life. It’s never easy to release cultural mindsets, but the moment we can start releasing the baggage, we begin gaining confidence in carrying our intended weight versus our unknowing worldly shackles. We are not designed to be on a stationary bike; we are intended to embrace the freedom ride He has pre-purposed for us.
First balance. Image course of Jordan Sanchez on Unsplash.
She gets back on her bike. In my realization that the worldly desire for balance will follow her for the rest of her life, I switch gears towards His will for her understanding of this experience. Fully aware that my role in her development and my influence is limited, I start to release the grip from her shirt so she can embrace the full coast of childhood. I know other people will influence her choices and direction. She will emulate what she sees, affecting her know-how. Her own internal mantras will develop, and in turn, she will even emerge as the coach. She will hit potholes along the way, but my hope is that her confidence is founded in Him. And as her earthly guide, I will remind her of her capability and His intention for her purpose to get her back on His road, vertically aligned instead of unsteadily balanced.
What pursuits are keeping you falsely balanced?
What exchange can we make today that moves us from a desire for balance to a state of alignment?
Let’s go bike riding!
Resources
We’ve created a free downloadable PDF to explore the article deeper. It contains discussion questions about the topic in general terms that will give you a jumping-off point for beginning a conversation.
The second page contains a way to see the topic from a biblical perspective.
And finally, to go deeper into the subject, we have chosen a few curated resources to explore from other authors’ and thinkers’ research or perspectives.
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