Do I Get a Sticker for That?
Making Change Work When Everything is Changing
by Dr. Bonnie Lovett
Stickers. Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash.
Remember in kindergarten when we would do just about anything to get a little sticker? As children we find reinforcement with small things like stickers or points, known as extrinsic rewards. These extrinsic rewards contribute to feeling motivated to behave, follow directions, make good choices and be kind. As adults we don’t have anyone handing us stickers every time we do the right thing. Our extrinsic motivation can come in the form of a paycheck for going to work or receiving frequent flyer miles for flying an airline. As we grow, we do things because it’s the right thing to do or because it just feels good to do it. That is called intrinsic motivation.
As I am writing this article most of us are ‘socially distancing’ due to COVID-19 and finding our ‘new normal’. This ‘normal’ has changed the way we shop, the way we work (or don’t work), the way we spend money, the way we care for our family, the way we socialize, the way we worship, the way we exercise, and everything in between. We have had to make significant, albeit, drastic changes to our lifestyle that have required physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental adjustments. These adjustments affect our ability to maintain focus and drive towards our goals.
For example, Sarah committed to abstaining from sweets during Lent. Sarah worked as a hair stylist and made a great living. However, due to COVID-19, the salon closed and she was unable to work, subsequently unable to pay her bills. The loss of her job, her money, the lifestyle she was accustomed to living, her clients, and the work she loved, led Sarah to break her abstinence and she began eating sweets two weeks before Easter. Although initially motivated to abstain from eating sweets, Sarah, like many others, was thrown off balance by unchartered feelings and response due to the pandemic. Sarah made a simple, personal decision that affected only herself. However, so many of our decisions can impact others and lead to both positive (volunteering at a homeless shelter) or negative (drinking and driving) consequences.
Motivation refers to the dynamics of behavior - the ways in which our actions are initiated, sustained, directed, and terminated (Franken, 2007). Imagine you are trying to complete a work project and your stomach begins to growl. You have difficulty concentrating and have a hard time putting the right words together. You get up from your desk (initiate action) to get food from the vending machine. The machine is empty so you go to the cafeteria which is already closed. You have to decide your next step. Stay at the office to finish the project or leave to get food to satisfy your growling stomach? The motivation to satisfy hunger will direct your next step. What would you do?
As described earlier, intrinsic motivation comes from within a person and tends to push people forcefully. Examples of intrinsic motivation include learning for fun, participating in sports because of the enjoyment, or reading a book for pleasure. On the other hand extrinsic motivation comes from outside of the person such as money, tokens, praise, or fame. Motivation is an important tool for helping individuals reach goals they set for themselves.
Motivation. Image courtesy of Hatice Yardım on Unsplash.
For example, Mary is a teacher interested in becoming a principal. Her motivation to become a principal drives Mary to complete the courses and certification necessary to everything she needs to do to accomplish this goal. Even though this is fraught with stress, balancing family, work, and certification, Mary is driven to complete her goal. Although she will earn more money as a principal, Mary’s drive to become a principal is intrinsically motivating as she has a desire to complete her certification as her desire to be a principal is driving her to accomplish this goal.
Psychological theorists have hypothesized several theories of motivation to increase productivity such as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, Hawthorne Effect, Expectancy Theory, and Three-Dimensional Theory of Attribution. No matter the name or the suggestion, the basic premise is similar;
humans are motivated based on biological, social, emotional, or cognitive forces.
Sounds simple, right? We grapple every day with decisions that can be quick and easy and others that can cause us to lose sleep. While most of our daily decisions fall in the middle (which way to drive home based on traffic, when we need to schedule our next dental appointment) others can be more powerful, such as whether or not to take a loved one off life support, require us to consult trusted sources. While these are hopefully rare we need to find resources that can help us with these big, powerful decisions when we feel stuck.
Explore! Image courtesy of Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
Throughout this article we have identified situations such as Sarah breaking her commitment to abstain from sweets during Lent and Mary deciding to return to school to become a principal. We grapple with decisions daily. Key points to remember in the decision process:
Investigate the situation in detail.
Generate good alternatives.
Explore your options.
Select the best solution.
Evaluate your plan.
Communicate your decision, and take action.
Not every decision is as black and white as waking up early to go for a run or stopping to pick up dinner instead of making it at home. Some decisions require more thought and input than others. We often look to others for guidance. This guidance comes from those in our support system - family, friends, spiritual advisors, God, and of course, our past experiences. In the words of Stephen Covey “Life happens (stimulus), and we react (response). Between the stimulus and the response is a gap. This gap is our freedom to choose.”
Which way to go? Image courtesy of Bruno Wolff on Unsplash.
So what does this mean for you? It means TRUST YOU, TRUST GOD. Every time you are at a crossroads of a decision point, ask yourself - does this make sense to me? Does this follow in the wisdom of Christ? Don’t second guess yourself. We spend way too much time thinking about the WHAT IF? when we could already be taking action. Believe in yourself! You’ve got this!
Resources
Franken, R.E. (2007). Human Motivation (6th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning/Wadsworth.
Covey, S. (2015). The Seven Habits of Highly Effectiv People: 25th Anniversary Edition. New York, New York: Free Press.
Resources
We’ve created a free downloadable PDF to explore the article deeper. It contains discussion questions about the topic in general terms that will give you a jumping-off point for beginning a conversation.
The second page contains a way to see the topic from a biblical perspective.
And finally, to go deeper into the subject, we have chosen a few curated resources to explore from other authors’ and thinkers’ research or perspectives.
Read. Engage. Enjoy!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Depending on how a gem is held, light refracts differently. At B+PC we engage in Pop Culture topics to see ideas from a new angle, to bring us to a deeper understanding. And like Pastor Shane Willard notes, we want “…Jesus to get bigger, the cross to get clearer, the Resurrection to be central…” Instead of approaching a topic from “I don’t want to be wrong,“ we strive for the alternative “I want to expand my perspective.”
So, we invite you to engage with us here. What piqued your curiosity to dig deeper? What line inspired you to action? What idea made you ask, “Hmmm?” Let’s join with our community to wrestle with our thoughts in love in the Comment Section! See you there!