A Guide to the Afterlife, According to Beetlejuice
by Alexandria Furlow
Welcome to the afterlife! I’m Alexandria, your caseworker, here to teach you the ins and outs, the dos and don’ts, the rules of the afterlife. However, I must warn you of a vile, malevolent creature named Beetlejuice. Whatever you do, do not say his name three times. He cannot help you no matter how persuasive and charismatic he may be. Grab ahold of your sandworm because it’s showtime!
Books for the Living and the Deceased
Beetlejuice, (1988) directed by Tim Burton starring Genna Davis (Barbara Maitland) and Alec Baldwin (Adam Maitland), is a quirky adventure into the afterlife. The Maitlands return home after dying in a car crash to find The Handbook for the Recently Deceased. Within its binding lies everything they need to know about the afterlife- from navigating life after death to how to haunt the living out of your home. The book contains valuable knowledge, that is if they truly take the time to read it.
The Bible, like the handbook, contains everything needed to understand the intricate, yet organized chaos life throws at us- a guide through the ways of living life to the fullest. It holds the answers to life, love, happiness, and even the sad stuff. For example, Luke 20:38 shows God being for the living and for all of the beauty that comes with it. Just as the Handbook teaches the deceased how to navigate the ins and outs of the afterlife, the Bible teaches the living how to navigate the ins and outs of life. God not only wants us to spend eternity with Him, but He also wants us to have the most beautiful, full, and rewarding life here on earth.
“God not only wants us to spend eternity with Him, but He also wants us to have the most beautiful, full, and rewarding life here on earth.”
Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash
Obligations, Exceptions, and Limitations
The Maitlands study the handbook found resting perfectly on their side table. Barbara anxiously paces back and forth as Adam intensively flips through the pages. They soon discover that the language of the handbook to be mind-numbing-- like reading stereo instructions, proving to be overwhelming, leading the couple to feel defeated.
Like the handbook, the Bible can sometimes read like stereo instructions. Yet, utilized, can aid us throughout life. It can be overwhelming searching for the answers we so desperately need. It can make one feel quite defeated when we cannot wrap our minds around the wisdom lying perfectly in its binding. However, the Bible is there to help, not just frustrate, or make us feel defeated.
After hours of reading, Adam finds a section that gives instructions on how to call for help in case of emergencies. The book instructs that they draw a door and knock three times to gain the ability to enter the netherworld. Barbara, on the other hand, questions the authenticity of the handbook and suggests that they use “that Beetlejuice guy.” Ignoring her, Adam excitedly draws the door in hopes of finding some answers.
Often when we get the answers that we need, they seem hard-- we want something easier. We know what we should do, but we crave the easy way out. Like asking God for a three-tiered chocolate cake topped strawberries and whipped cream. We expect the cake, but instead, God gives us the ingredients and instructions to make the cake. God wants us to grow and bloom. Nothing ever grows and blooms without hard work and determination.
The door outlined by chalk suddenly transforms into a portal after three knocks. Shocked by what they witness, the Maitlands enter, finding themselves in a smoke-infested waiting room filled with others who have passed on. They nervously approach the reception desk greeted by Miss Argentina. Adorned in her pageant sash, evening gown, and tiara, she impatiently questions the couple about their appointment with their afterlife caseworker. She explains that the deceased are only allowed three appointments which are to be used with the utmost care.
God loves to talk to us. As a matter of fact we never need to make an appointment when we need help.
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.
Go on, talk his ear off!
“We face the consequences of our actions in life to be refined and earn wisdom to do better. It is a chance to change before facing death. ”
The Maitlands take a seat in the waiting room asking if this is truly what the afterlife is like. Miss Argentina butts in and expresses that everyone’s death and afterlife experiences are personal to how they lived and died, playing into the limitations, abilities, and an individual’s appearance in the afterlife.
How we die does not transfer over into the afterlife. However, how one lived, loved, and treated others correlates.
For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.
We do not carry physical wounds into the afterlife. When Jesus Christ took up the cross, He endured for everyone, believer or not alike. Why? His love knows no bounds, it is everlasting and eternal- no limitations or obligations.
After the hasty conversation with the peppy Miss Argentina, the Maitlands wearily find their way back home to be greeted by their afterlife caseworker, Juno. She explains that they are obligated to remain in the house for 125 years, much like purgatory. Once their time is completed in the house, they are then able to pass over to Heaven or Hell.
In some beliefs, purgatory is a place one goes after their physical death to be purified to enter Heaven with a pure soul. Much like wearing a beautiful dress or nice suit and getting a bunch of stains on it. You don’t walk around with stains all over you forever, right? You clean up so that they are tidy and ready to wear again. Yet, we face a sort of purgatory through the consequences of our actions, fire refines us.
He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he shall purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord.
We face the consequences of our actions in life to be refined and earn wisdom to do better. It is a chance to change before facing death.
Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetle-Don’t Say It!
Our tour wouldn't be complete without the one and only Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, the mischievous, deceitful, and disturbing creature who has a way with words to lure the recently deceased away from the truth, which he doesn’t want them to see. He twists the truth and there’s always a catch. Beetlejuice tries to convince the Maitlands that he is the only guy that can help them get rid of the Deetz family, who has moved into their home. Juno warns them to not mess with Beetlejuice because he is dangerous.
“No matter your belief, we all suffer and know darkness. You’re not alone, though the Devil tries to make you feel that you are.”
Why does Beetlejuice sound so familiar? Satan is a surprisingly good character fit. He is the prince of lies and a serpent, slithering in the grass waiting to strike. Ironically, during an important dinner, the Deetz’s hold with fellow socialites, Beetlejuice wreaks havoc by appearing to the family as a giant black and white striped snake. Like Beetlejuice, there is always a catch with Satan and the “deals” he puts on the table which always ends in pain, suffering, and eternal death.
Be sober-minded; Be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
No matter your belief, we all suffer and know darkness. You're not alone, though the Devil tries to make you feel that you are.
We have now reached the end of this chaotic adventure through mind-boggling insights about the afterlife. Carefully step down from your sandworm, and take the brochures that have been conveniently placed by the exits for additional questions I may not have covered in our journey. And remember, I’m Alexandria, your afterlife caseworker and your Bible is the most important book you will ever read. Though it may be confusing and frustrating at times, know that God is always there to help. The answers you receive may be difficult, but a challenge is the first ingredient to growing with God. Though life may present many obligations and limitations, this is not the case for the afterlife. Jesus took up the cross to never suffer these in death. Consequences refine us for our God-given purpose with an opportunity to avoid the fires raging in the afterlife. It has been a pleasure meeting you. Now go home and let me rest. I got a football team to deal with in the morning!
“Though it may be confusing and frustrating at times, know that God is always there to help. The answers you receive may be difficult, but a challenge is the first ingredient to growing with God.”
Resources
We’ve created a free downloadable PDF to explore the article deeper. It contains discussion questions about the topic in general terms that will give you a jumping-off point for beginning a conversation.
The second page contains a way to see the topic from a biblical perspective.
And finally, to go deeper into the subject, we have chosen a few curated resources to explore from other authors’ and thinkers’ research or perspectives.
Read. Engage. Enjoy!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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