by Denise Wilhelm

Five years sober, and I was finally learning how to love myself through self-care. At the advice of a loving mentor, I was directed to find things that interested me and made me happy. 

My love for nature quickly turned my attention to hiking. Armed with the best hiking shoes I could afford, I found a local trailhead with a dirt path. Little did I know I was starting a journey of self-care, where I would find my greatest joy and peace.

I had fallen in love with the movie Wild (2014), starring Reese Witherspoon, who plays a defeated woman who decides to hike through the PCT. As a rookie hiker, she doesn't have a clue and is defeated on the trail time and time again. As she overcomes these defeats, she’s empowered, her internal struggles dropping away as her quest on the trail progresses.

My first hikes proved my body to be sluggish and weak from years of physical neglect. I was overweight with elevated cholesterol levels and a family history of heart disease. I battled pain and joint stiffness from sixteen years of Rheumatoid Arthritis and eventually received a diagnosis of Diabetes.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. 

-Ephesians 5:29 (NIV)

My nursing background taught me the benefits of exercise, and I owed myself a healthier body. Hiking is one of the best cardio-pulmonary workouts, especially if you are hiking in a mountainous region that offers gain and loss of elevation.

Exercise through hiking raises heart and respiration rates, thus lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and ultimately decreasing your risk for heart disease. Because of the extra energy used while hiking, weight loss can occur. Large muscle groups used to hike spend up that extra energy in the form of glucose, which helps to lower blood sugar levels.

As a hiker, I could feel the health returning to my body. My muscles were stronger, and I had more energy and motivation. I felt lighter on my feet and became more productive at home and at work. My flares from Rheumatoid Arthritis seemed milder.

My first hikes also revealed that I had a negative mindset. Ruminating thoughts of self-defeat lowered my self-esteem and convinced me I did not deserve good things. Hiking was uncomfortable and hard work, and my opposing thoughts tried to persuade me to quit. One sluggish foot in front of another I began to tell myself:

 "Have you lost your mind?"

"You can't do this!" 

"Go back to the ac in the car."

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 

-Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

A Stanford study, first published in June 2015, showed the effects of walking in nature versus walking in an urban environment. Researchers discovered through a questionnaire and brain scans administered before and after walking, that participants that walked in nature had a reduction of ruminating thoughts and a decrease in neural activity of the subgenual prefrontal cortex (part of the brain responsible for depression). This study showed evidence that hiking in nature was good for mental health and could lower the risk of depression.

While hiking, I worked to develop a pace that matched my breath. I learned from yoga classes that controlled rhythmic breathing was always the focus during poses. This pattern of walking and breathing seemed to reduce stress and anxiety. I distracted my mind by focusing on my immediate surroundings. Sun poured brightly through the trees. The breezes that cooled my skin and gave me goosebumps on occasion. Smells of the woodsy earth that seemed to ground me. Sounds of creeks or waterfalls calming me to a state of drowsiness. I discovered I was in another world, a world that was slow and calm, a world that had healing powers that allowed me to leave cares behind. Hiking in nature was a world that offered so much peace and joy. 

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

-Psalm 94:19 (NIV)

In those woods and on those trails, I found a magical elixir of self-care; A medicine that healed my body and my mind. An anecdote to self-defeating thoughts and choices. In hiking, I learned I was important, and I had value, and I owed it to myself to take care of me, and in doing that, I became a woman who found joy and peace.

"Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into the trees. The winds will blow their freshness into you and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves."

-John Muir, Our National Parks

Resources

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