Creating a Culture of Second Chances
by Stefanie Anderson
“Waioli Kitchen and Bakeshop” Modern Wahine (2020). Segment courtesy of KHON2.
It's a dangerous thing when you find yourself at a Christian conference singing your heart out in worship, meaning every word. When you cry out,
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders;
let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.
And my faith will be made stronger,
in the presence of my savior.”
-”Oceans,” Hillsong United
Then one day, you find yourself in that deep blue water, way over your head as I did. It is then that you are tested, and the direction that you go determines the depth of your conviction.
Stefanie and Ross Anderson on Oahu (2019). Image courtesy Stefanie Anderson.
The truth of our convictions was tested when my husband lost his job. We had no idea what we would do. He had been in the restaurant business for thirty years, running one of the busiest restaurants in the state. I had spent most of our marriage raising our three children and the last six years volunteering in the women's prison preaching, teaching, and counseling.
An Unlikely Opportunity
The Waioli Tearoom was founded in 1922 by the Salvation Army, built as a vocational training center for girls from the orphanage to make pies, jams, and jellies. A dear friend of ours suggested that we reopen the Tearoom- though it had been closed for a number of years. Famous chefs wanted the space, but with the many restrictions placed on them by the neighborhood and the Salvation Army, the biggest being no alcohol, none of them were willing to chance it. When seeking advice from our restaurant friends about the idea, they said unanimously, "Whatever you do… DON'T do it." But we have found if you ever want to make God laugh, just tell Him what you are not going to do. We were like, “nope, we are not going to do that,” but God was like, "Oh, heck, yes, you are."
Waioli had lost its sense of mission, and the Salvation Army wasn’t sure they wanted to continue it as a restaurant. The hassle of finding a good operator and many renovation challenges had them seeking other avenues for space revenue.
But what would that look like? For us, it looked like restoring the restaurant to its original mission and asking ourselves the question,
“What does this generation need from this restaurant?”
What could God be asking of you right now? What does creating community look like in your sphere of influence?
Inviting others into the mission. Duke’s Canoe Club helps paint and clean as a way to create a club culture of giving back (2019). Image courtesy Stefanie Anderson.
We knew it could no longer function as the place for high society to enjoy afternoon tea. This generation needed a more casual environment where families could come with the kids, and young people could use the wifi and post to their Instagram accounts. We felt like God was whispering,
"Get the church out of the church."
But what would that look like?
Do you see any areas where the church can get out of the four walls into the community to make a difference?
One thing I realized as I met our customers was how few of them had any religious affiliation or desire for one. Some were offended at the church; some were atheists, some flat out could care less. The scripture that came into my mind when we first opened was Joel 3:14,
Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision.
Many of the folks that come into our restaurant don’t even know there is a decision to be made.
Ways of Encouraging Community: Lei Making (2019). Image courtesy Stefanie Anderson.
Building Community and Carrying Burdens
Prophetic painting (2019). Image courtesy Stefanie Anderson.
Another thing we realized is people need a place to belong. And a place to unload their burdens. Everyone has a story; they just need a place to tell it. We have been intentional in getting to know our regular customers and creating a space where everyone is included and invited to come and have their stories heard. We have befriended retired snowbirds, college students, and families, even the aspiring musician/ writer/ vagabond that finds their way to us. As we get to know them, we hear their struggles, and often they are open to our prayers. Galatians 6:2 says,
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Staff celebrating milestones (2019). Image courtesy Stefanie Anderson.
We believe through relationships, and daily prayers, people encounter the sacred in a tangible way- they just don’t know they are encountering God. God has not allowed us to know if we are seed planters or waterers we just keep throwing seed and pouring water.
Creating a Culture of Second Chances
All of the furniture from Waioli has been repurposed from other restaurants, which lends itself to the theme of our restaurant: ‘Found Treasures and Second Chances.’ We believe it is never too late to be who you were meant to be. As we sought the Lord, we felt like Waioli Kitchen and Bakeshop (as it's now called) is a place for those who are unseen by society: the drug addict, the criminal, the abused, and the forgotten. We open the door for these folks to walk through to help them change their page and begin a new chapter of their lives, one written with hope, with joy, and with second chances.
We created a space in our community where these folks haven’t been invited before. We worked at not letting our love grow cold by exercising patience as we give chance after chance. We often find ourselves saying,
“Fired today, but reapply tomorrow.”
We walk the fine line between truth and grace with the ladies as we hold them accountable, but welcome them back later.
In order to create a culture of second chances, you will be taken advantage of, lied to, and often disappointed and discouraged. Will it be worth it to you?
The Starfish on Our Beach
Often I am asked why I am not a Not For Profit or why we don’t ask the church or other organizations for money. Ross and I believe God must build this house. It is His, and we have to obey what He says. At this moment, He has told us to pray, and He will provide.
I am often asked if all of the effort and frustration is worth it, considering maybe only 1 in 20 of the people we help will change.
My answer to this is a story I heard years ago about a bunch of starfish that washed up on a beach.
A man watched as an old woman picked up a starfish from the sand and gently put it back into the water. He looked and saw the impossibility of the situation as there were thousands of starfish on the shore. Finally, he could hold his peace no more and confronted the old woman.
“My dear, clearly, there are thousands of starfish washed up on this beach, and you are all alone returning them to the sea. The sun is rising, and the tide is going out, most of them are going to die anyway. What difference is it going to make?
The old woman picked up a starfish and looked him right in the eye and said,
“To this starfish, it will make all the difference in the world.”
Then she gently returned it to the sea.
And that is how we see it. An impossible circumstance with few rewards, but for the one who is returned to their life, who receives hope in their hopeless situation, and strength to change the path they were traveling on, we pray it will make all the difference in the world.
Flower arrangements as ways of celebrating milestones (2019). Image courtesy Stefanie Anderson.
Starfish photo by Efe Yağız Soysal on Unsplash.
Resources
We’ve created a free downloadable PDF to explore the article deeper. It contains discussion questions about the topic in general terms that will give you a jumping-off point for beginning a conversation.
The second page contains a way to see the topic from a biblical perspective.
And finally, to go deeper into the subject, we have chosen a few curated resources to explore from other authors’ and thinkers’ research or perspectives.
Read. Engage. Enjoy!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Depending on how a gem is held, light refracts differently. At B+PC we engage in Pop Culture topics to see ideas from a new angle, to bring us to a deeper understanding. And like Pastor Shane Willard notes, we want “…Jesus to get bigger, the cross to get clearer, the Resurrection to be central…” Instead of approaching a topic from “I don’t want to be wrong,“ we strive for the alternative “I want to expand my perspective.”
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